Today, I’m posting something completely different. This is a coin of mine from Pyrrhos. Have you ever heard the word “Pyrrhic victory?” Yes. That’s him. This coin, made of bronze, is approximately 2300 years old and was minted when he controlled part of Macedonia. His logo is in the center.
One of the greatest generals in history, ranked by Hannibal as #2 behind Alexander the Great but before himself, this guy had to pick a fight with everyone. He started under the famous Diadochi Antigonos Monophtalmos – or Antigonos “One Eye”, so named because he lost the other eye in battle. Pyrrhos fought alongside Antigonos and his son Demetrios Poliorketes (meaning “The City Besieger” after his famous sieges of Athens and Rhodes) and Antigonos remarked that Pyrrhos would be one of the world’s greatest generals “if he survived.”
Demetrios and Pyrrhos later had a falling out when Pyrrhos’s wife left him for the former. She said she couldn’t live with barbarians, and for some reason Pyrrhos took offense. After several rather unsuccessful wars against Antigonos, Demetrios, and Lysimachos – another powerful Diadochi – Pyrrhos decided to take a Italian vacation.
Of course, if you’re a war mongering general then your vacations aren’t like ours. You see, the south of Italy was being annoyed by these pesky things called Romans, so Pyrrhos headed there with a bunch of war elephants to teach them a lesson. Twice he defeated Rome, though at high costs to his own troops (Pyrrhic victory). His war elephants in particular terrorized the Romans, who had never seen one before. Pyrrhos considered marching on Rome itself, but due to the rapid mobilization of the Romans and the fact that he had more paid mercenaries than troops, he decided to change his vacation plans.
Next, he travelled to Sicily, mainly because he wanted to finish the trifecta by pissing off the Macedonians, Romans, and Carthaginians. Yes, shortly before Rome and Carthage were to engage in a famously long war, Pyrrhos took both of them on. Initially successful in Sicily, the locals began to tire of him since he was a bit of a jerk. When they joined in with Carthage, Pyrrhos had to find a new place for war.
Hmmm…where could a war-starved general go next? Ah, yes. He invaded Sparta. Unfortunately, one of his old nemeses – Antigonos Gonatas (the son of Demetrios) lent his support and caused Pyrrhos to get bogged down in the city. There, Pyrrhos met his end at the hands of an old lady who dropped a brick from above when it seemed certain Pyrrhos was going to cut down her grandson. He was one of the greatest generals the world has ever seen, but he should’ve known not to mess with an old grandma.
Marriage of Demetrios Poliorketes to Deidamia, the sister of Pyrrhos.
Approximate date when Dyrrhachion comes under the control of Pyrrhos of Epeiros.
Agathokles marries his daughter Lanassa to Pyrrhos of Epeiros.
Korkyra is provided as dowry to Pyrrhos by Agathokles of Syracuse for the marriage of his daughter, Lanassa.
Ambrakia given to Pyrrhos of Epiros by Alexander V of Macedon. It then becomes his capital.
Audoleon, Pyrrhos, and Lysimachos form a coalition against Demetrios Poliorketes after his murder of Alexander V.
Demetrios Poliorketes marries Lanassa, the former wife of Pyrrhos and daughter of Agathokles of Syracuse.
Lanassa leaves Pyrrhos for Demetrios Poliorketes and attempts to transfer ownership of Korkyra to him.
287 BCE
Demetrios I Poliorketes organizes the Fifth Sacred War against the Aetolian League‘s occupation of Delphi, but is pushed out with the help of Pyrrhos.
Pyrrhos, Ptolemy I Soter, and Lysimachos push Demetrios Poliorketes out of Macedonia.
Pyrrhos takes Beroea and the army of Demetrios Poliorketes deserts him. At news of the defeat, Phila, the mother of Antigonos II, commits suicide by poison.
Demetrios Poliorketes surrenders to Seleukos and is taken prisoner. Pyrrhos and Lysimachos divide Macedonia, leaving Antigonos II without a kingdom.
Lysimachos pushes Pyrrhos out of Macedonia.
Pyrrhos seizes parts of Illyria from Monounios.
The Athamanians are conquered by Pyrrhos of Epeiros.
Pyrrhos moves to attack Iaitas, but they yield without a fight.
Pyrrhos of Epiros attacks Argos, which is helped by Antigonos II, and is killed there when an old woman throws a brick on him.