Genius
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The title of “genius” is a bit odd to the modern reader, but the Romans believed a divine nature existed in every person, place or thing. The best analogy to today would be a guardian angel. This genius accompanies you during your entire life. So, do you recall that time you spilled paint on the rug and blamed your brother? Yup, your genius saw that. He also noticed when you tripped over the dog and when you slipped on the ice onto your ass. It was thanks to your genius you didn’t break anything, though he probably keeled over laughing.
To thank one’s genius for ensuring one’s idiotic mistakes weren’t lethal, it was customary to construct a statue honoring him. A genius existed for inanimate objects too. For example, every volcano had a genius, and it was custom to erect a statue of him as a way to say “hey! We have cookies and cake over here!” so as to dissuade him from getting bored after the ten thousandth game of solitaire and slapping the “erupt” button for kicks.
Recently, I proposed to my wife that we order a statue of myself in marble with the plaque “To my Genius” that she would polish and pray to each day. After I regained consciousness from some sort of blunt instrument that struck me the moment I turned, she interpreted the event as a sign from my Genius to give up the matter.
 Antoninus Pius, 138-161 CE Rome mint. Struck 158-159 CE AR Denarius 18mm, 3.22g, 12h) Obv: ANTONINVS AVG PIVS PP TR P XXII. Laureate head r Rev: COS IIII. Figure standing l. on pedestal holding branch(?) and torch or short scepter, within distyle shrine with ornate semicircular roof; statues leaning outwards at corners. RIC III 285; RSC 331. BMC 915 Ex Akropolis Coins |
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