Larissa Kremaste, Thessaly
302 – 286 BCE
Ae 17.6mm 5.1g
Obv: Head of Achilles left
Rev: Thetis riding left on hippocamp holding shield of Achilles with XA monogram; LAPI below
SNG Cop. 151

The scene was Troy, over three thousand years ago. Achilles’ best friend Patroclus had just been taken down by Hector. Achilles was furious and now wished to rejoin the war. However, Hector took his armor, leaving Achilles with none. What was a demi-god to do?

He couldn’t get one off Amazon, because they’d killed them all. Nor could he head down to the latest Arms R’Us because god-like armor was typically a special order, and he needed something now. With no other options, he did what every legendary soldier would do. He called his mom.

“Maaa!” he said on his cell. “Patroclus got all excited and he took my armor and he went into battle and then Hector saw him and Hector thought he was me and then they fought and then Hector killed him and oh my Zeus Patroclus is dead! And so I want to get my revenge and bash Hector’s head in and then I want to drag his body all across town in a chariot but I don’t have any armor because Patroclus took it and then Hector took it. What am I going to do?!”

His mother, Thetis, just told him to breathe in and out and she would take care of everything. With Achilles temporarily calm, she made a plan to visit Hephaistos, the best armorer available. But how would she get there? The car was in the shop and Pegasus had a bad case of gas, so with reluctance she harnessed up a hippocamp and headed out.

Needless to say, the armor was not cheap. The shield alone maxed out one of her credit cards and Hephaistos charged more for the rush order, but at last she had the armor and hurried back to her son.

Achilles was thrilled to see the armor, which was even better than his last one, but then had a panic attack over the body of Patroclus, which he was worried would decay while he was carrying out murder and mayhem. So, she placed some ambrosia and nectar in Patroclus’ nose, which nearly caused her to hurl but those are the things we do for our kids, and then Achilles happily went on his bloodthirsty revenge.

The word “kremaste” in Greek means “hanging”, and that was used to differentiate this Larissa from the other more famous Larissa, which was also in Thessaly. Both belonged in ancient times to Achilles, and one must wonder if he ever confused them.

Thessaly, Larissa Kremaste
c. 302-286 BCE
Æ Chalkous 12mm, 1.76g, 12h
Wreathed head of nymph l.
R/ Harpa within olive wreath tying below.
BCD Thessaly II 405.1; HGC 4, 17

In 302 BCE, Larissa Kremaste, along with its more famous sibling, were taken by Demetrios I Poliorketes. Most likely, he had ordered his troops to take ‘Larissa’ and they took both just to make sure they got it right.

Xenophon mentioned gold mines at Kremaste. Strabo gives an entire page explaining the different Larissa’s available.

Today, visitors may walk around the ruins, although the hillside is very steep and difficult to traverse.